I can never forgot about 26/3/09, how God really help me get through all the problems, it was really a Miracle!!!
I can never forgot about 26/3/09, how God really help me get through all the problem, it was really a Miracle!!! that day actually keep raining heavily & is a bit late…at the beginning, I have lost my hope & I really in chaos, I just thought of wanna using my own method to solve the problems, but seem a voice whispering beside my ears, saying that, ‘‘Please dun follow your own methods, cos your methods methods won’t work, instead, let just follow the guidance of Holy Spirit,’’ I replied & said, ‘Oh, God, since You said like that to me, then I will follow, no matter how is the consequences will be, as I trust You are my Lord, that only You will reign in every situation’ . That day I really in bad mood, but i just do whatever I can, trying to survive, haha..
So I just pray before I deal with the problems, at the beginning I just keep having a negative mindset in my brain, such as impossible to accomplish it, it is too ridiculous, how could u able to done it? Anyway, but I just follow what God has talked to me, I just afraid that too many obstacles awaits for me in front. However, I was so surprise that everything go on smoothly, without any hindrances, I was amazed, really feel that if God wasn’t with me that time, I really cannot done it, that is a heavy task for me, but praise God that He gave me the wisdom & strength to overcome it. Just within 3 hours, I settle everything, smoothly, out of my expectations, how great is my God, Hallelujah.
From how God lead me throughout this narrow path before, I feel amazed and also strongly feel that God You give me the chances to reborn & to live again,
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
I am not sure about how I will be next time, but ONE thing that I am very sure is that…God will carry me to walk together when I face problems, cos God NEVER promise us that there will be no troubles in our lives, but He promises us that He will carry us & walk together with us during those critical moments (just same as the story in “Footprints”).
I just simply love few songs which really represent my feelings, that are Footprints In The Sand (by Leona Lewis) & God will make a way
Footprints In The Sand (by Leona Lewis)
You walked with me,
Footprints in the sand,
And help me understand,
Where I'm going,
You walked with me,
When I was all alone,
With so much unknown,
Along the way,
Then I heard you say,
I promise you,
I'm always there,
When your heart is filled
With sorrow and despair,
I'll carry you
When you need a friend,
You'll find my footprints in the sand.
I see my life flash across the sky,
So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way,
You give me strength to carry on,
That's when I heard you say,
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled
With sorrow and despair
And, I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.
When I'm with you,
Well I know you've been there,
And I can feel you when you say,
I promise you (you)
I'm always there
When your heart is filled (when your heart)
With sadness and despair (and despair)
I'll carry you when you need a friend (need a friend)
You'll find my footprints in the sand. (I promise you)
Ohh. (I'm always there)
When your heart is full of
Sadness and despair, (and despair)
I'll carry you when you need a friend. (I'll carry you)
You'll find my footprints in the sand.
Uhh mmhhh.
God will make a way
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today
祷告 (by 赞美之泉)
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭 你心意对我重要
祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白
（副）有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下 我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
(结束)所需要的力量你天天赐给我(3X）
你恩典够我用
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
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Should Christians date non Christians? （Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat）
Should Christians date non Christians? （Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat）
Dating non-Christians
Should Christians date non Christians…?
© 2005 - Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat
“do NOT be yoked with unbelievers”
Christian dating advice help guide - should Christians date a non-Christian - dating for Christins
“He’s the nicest guy I’ve met in ages. It’s not as if I ever meet anyone - and who knows, he might become a Christian”
This page talks about the question of should Christians go out with or date a non-Christian - the age old problem of having a Christian girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn’t believe. Is dating non-believers an option for Christians? Shouldn’t we be equally yoked with someone who believes that Christ? Well here’s a few thoughts and what the Bible has to say about this subject.
There is of course nothing inherently wrong with dating a non-Christian. There are many stories of Christians going out with non-Christians who subsequently give their life to God and the two go on to get married. But there are also stories to the contrary of great heartache and eventual splitting of partners either before or after marriage.
With the added pressure of other people drifting in and out of casual relationships, everyone else is having all the fun and you end up wondering why you don’t try it yourself! To make things trickier still, some non-Christians have higher morals, and are more faithful and understanding than their fellow Christians.
a real dilemma!
It’s a dilemma, - and it does seem unfair of God to restrict us to the few that are Christian in the real sense. Trying to find someone with whom you click, who you find attractive and who you know loves the Lord - can be so difficult that staying Gods side of the fence can seem like too much to ask! - Should I ask that non- Christian guy out at work? Should I be less fussy? Should I go church hopping? Should I join an agency? In the end it distracts from the real meaning of Christian life. Not to mention hours wasted barking up the wrong trees!
Should we consider dating a non-Christian partner outside the church when one inside seems so elusive - what does the Bible say?
1) The bible says guard your heart above all.
2) We can see with Jesus as our model that as Christians we are limited in the things we can do. We have to sacrifice many things that the rest of the world does not, and one of those things is the vast choice of people with whom we can have a husband/wife relationship.
3) The bible clearly states that marrying a nonbeliever is to be avoided. (do not be yoked with unbelievers or non Christians) However If you find this dogmatic, consider the sensitive way it addresses people who are already in a relationship with a nonbeliever. Far from consign them both to hell it offers constructive advice and says that the Christians’ faith actually sanctifies the nonbeliever in the relationship. -Not to be taken to mean that dating a non-Christian is a good idea.
4) Be careful who you get together with as bad company corrupts good character. Can a non Christian partner help you spiritually?
5) The Bible tells us that few will enter the kingdom of heaven which is important because it follows that the number of potential partners available to us will be equally few. It is to be expected that meeting compatible people is difficult.
-As ever the Bible offers practical advice to real problems!
Other things to consider . . .
A mature Christian woman dating a spiritually immature man:
This may or may not worry you but consider the fact that the bible says the man should be the spiritual leader in a relationship. Spiritual maturity does not come overnight unlikely that a new Christian man could lead a mature Christian woman.
uneven playing field
When you go out with a non-Christian you may have find you have opposite views on certain issues that your partner may not consider issues at all! For instance commitment to them may not be commitment to you. This will give them an unfair advantage in a relationship as they can break certain rules that you can’t - and you may feel pressured to break them to hold their interest. This really happens! It’s much better when both parties have the same rulebook. With an issue like no sex before marriage it’ll take 2 to say ‘no’. When one is indifferent, temptation will be hard to resist!
from a practical point of view . . .
Is the person you’re dating someone you’d like to marry? Being able to talk about your deepest emotions, hopes and fears in the light of God is something most Christians would want from a life long partner. Can you have this kind of relationship with an unbeliever? Most Christians agree that in the end something is missing. It can be like talking to someone who “isn’t home” for want of a less arrogant sounding description. Consider what you want.
It is true that many non-Christians have good relationships (though they could never be as fulfilling as a right relationship in which both partners included God) With one believer and one nonbeliever. The scales are uneven and liable to tip.
Having established that it’s praobably best not to seriously date a non-Christian (though this may not always be the case), how can we improve our chances of meeting someone?
You can visit different churches but this is a very inefficient way to meet someone. You’re going to have to go for a couple of weeks before you get to know anyone and even then you may not end up in a position to approach the person you like. It also takes your mind off church itself. Church hopping is not a sin but it’s not a good way to find a partner.
You can introduce people whom you know have an interest in each other. If everyone did this you could guarantee the favour would be returned!
You could try traditional Christian dating agencies which is a great idea. They even send you out in groups which is a lot of fun. Or you could usefusion101.com. This is a Christian dating agency that allows you to contact people with whom you have something in common. No time wasted and great fun! Go to 101 FREE Christian Dating & Personals service
to summarise
1) Does the person you’re interested in have the spiritual spiritual maturity you need? (esp important for women)
2) In a relationship with a non-Christian you may be tempted to compromise your beliefs in order to stay appealing.
3) Falling in love is easy. In a romantic relationship it may be difficult to escape a relationship with an unbeliever if it turns out to be wrong.
4) Consider carefully whether short term gain is worth giving yourself to what could be the wrong person.
5) While there can be nothing wrong with dating a non-Christian, you never know when a casual date will turn into a lifelong love.
6) If you don’t want to end up marrying a non-Christian, don’t date one!
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Q) Should I *Date a Non-Christian?
This is an honest question of many who desire companionship in this life. I like one evangelist’s response to that: “I would not even date a lukewarm Christian.”
God’s wisdom and protection for your life would be to not to date or seek courtship with an unbeliever. It is obviously a great temptation for many, yet God’s Word is clear:
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
God does not want to steal your fun, but to protect you from future harm. I have seen many well-meaning believers justify their dating/courtship habits.
Excuses some have used for dating non-Christians:
1. “I am not attracted to anyone in my church and there are few singles my age.”
I don’t believe God will make you marry someone you are not attracted to, but it simply comes down to trust. If we are “about our Father’s business”, and our hearts are set on doing His will, we will be content while waiting. Do you trust God for your future spouse? Is God big enough to bring someone into your life when and how He wants to? I have seen many singles attend a church for the sole purpose of fining a mate, as if they were shopping at a meat market. If they didn’t find the cut of beef they wanted, they went shopping elsewhere.
2. “I will lead them to the Lord.”
That is what some call “missionary dating”. Sometimes people lead others to the Lord in a dating situation, but more often than not it is the Christian in this situation who compromises what they know to be God’s will and they are lead further away from the things of God. King Solomon married many foreign wives who served foreign gods. His heart was turned away from God as a result:
1 Kings 11:7-10 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon. And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods. So the Lord became angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned from the Lord God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not keep what the Lord had commanded.
I have known of some who finally saw their spouse come to Jesus only after enduring years of heartache and brokenness. This unnecessary pain was caused by disobedience, not God’s leading.
3. “I will not marry them, only date them.”
Any dating relationship can cause you to open yourself up to emotional attachment. It is self-deception to think dating cannot or will not lead to marriage. One should not “date” unless even considering marriage. It is not fair to the other person, to yourself, or to your future spouse. It is selfish to think otherwise. It is tough enough in this life being married to a Christian who is desires the things of God. I could not imagine trying to go through life with someone who is not following Jesus.
4. “This person seems to have it together.”
Satan doesn’t usually tempt us with people who don’t seem to have it together. The grass is greener on the other side, but when you get there you find out it is green-colored cardboard! Marriage is only part of God’s plan, albeit a very important part, marriage itself should not be our goal. Seek His will and have long-term goals for your life instead of short-term satisfaction. You will be happier if you do things God’s way in God’s time.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (AMP) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?
*I use the term dating only because it is a common term. A proper godly approach to companionship should be courting. Dating is the world’s way to satisfy what God intended for preparation for marriage.
======================================================
Equally Yoked Dating
by JJ
Should a Christian date a non-Christian? This question is considered by most, if not all, single Christians at some point. The term “equally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14:
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?“ (NASB)
The concept goes all the way back to Deuteronomy 22:10:
“You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together.” (NASB)
Two different animals shouldn’t be yoked together on the plow. In Judaism, the ox was considered clean, whereas the donkey was considered unclean. Not only that, but these animals have different natures and different strengths and abilities1. If you put them together, the plow will probably go in a circle instead of straight, because they are not equally matched. The passage in 2 Corinthians 6 is not a marriage passage. Paul is writing to the Corinthian Christians and exhorting them to not be bound together with non-Christians. This includes marriage, but it also includes business and other relationships as well. He is not saying we should have nothing to do with non-believers; he is saying we should not be “bound” to them in ways that can affect our walk with the Lord adversely.
Do you get the point? A Christian and a non-Christian have different natures, and they are not equally matched spiritually. After our relationship with the Lord, marriage is the most significant relationship in our lives, and God doesn’t want us in that relationship with a non-Christian.
What about Missionary Dating?
Missionary dating is a Christian dating a non-Christian for the purpose of evangelism; at least that’s what they claim. I believe most people who do this have the wrong motivation. Instead of doing to to glorify God and lead the person to Christ, they do it because they are attracted to the person and they figure if they can lead him or her to Christ then it will be okay to date and, possibly, marry this person. They’re probably feeling desperate and/or impatient, and they don’t want to limit their options by restricting the pool of available partners to Christians only. For every person you can show me who did this successfully, I can show you ten people who are married to non-believers and are miserable. It’s a really bad idea and it’s wrong. You should never date someone unless you believe there might be the potential for marriage, and since God has commanded us NOT to marry non-Christians, then you should not date them either. Even if the person did get saved, now you have a “baby Christian” who will not be as spiritually mature as you. You’re still unequally yoked to some extent, and that does not lead to a fulfilling relationship.
Early in my walk with the Lord, I found myself in this very situation. I was attracted to a girl I worked with, and we went out a couple of times. I thought “She’d be great if she’d come to know the Lord.” The funny thing was, she ended it because it was obvious to her that we were not compatible. She was used to hanging around with people who drank, smoked and said crude things, and I was very different than that so it made her uncomfortable. She actually cried as she told me this. She apparently didn’t know how to respond to someone who treated her with respect and kindness.
Brothers and sisters, don’t compromise. Be patient (please read my article Patience) and wait for God’s best. Don’t give in to the temptation to date a non-Christian and then think you can lead them to the Lord. Are you going to disciple them and help them mature and catch up with you spiritually as well? I don’t think so.
“The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”
– John 1:5 (NASB)
====================================================
Dating a Non-Christian
By Grantley Morris In contrast to staying in love, falling in love tends to be something outside our control. Devoted Christians can therefore find themselves in love with non-Christians. Some, unaware that Scripture addresses this matter, have even deliberately exposed themselves to this in the hope of winning someone to the Lord. If ever the saying ‘The path to hell is paved with good intentions’ were true, it applies to this tragedy.
‘Do not be misled,’ says Scripture, ‘bad company corrupts good character.’ (Related Scriptures) No matter how strong you are, choose the wrong friend, and you’ll be corrupted. Not everyone believes that. That’s why Scripture prefaces this warning with the words, Do not be misled, or, as some versions put it, ‘deceived’. A careful look at the context reveals that ‘bad company’ is not necessarily people we would normally think of as being ‘bad,’ but people whose belief about Jesus is faulty, even though they might claim to be Christian and live moral lives.
A prime example is Solomon. Not even all his wisdom could keep him from ruining his life because he chose to befriend women who, though religious, believed the wrong things about God. (Scriptures)
Since the Bible insists you have little chance if you chose ungodly people as close friends, you must choose between God and wrong friendships. You will not have both for long. When choosing close friends, especially where there is a chance of romantic involvement, remember this simple fact: a person either belongs to God or to the devil. There is no middle ground.
To have sex with a non-Christian is to defile Christ. Scripture is emphatic that sex makes two people one. A born-again Christian is spiritually united to Christ and a non-Christian is spiritually united to the devil. To marry a non-Christian is therefore to try to make Christ one with the devil. (Scriptures)
A spiritually mixed marriage is a hideous perversion. It is the profanity of trying to unite that which must never be united – trying to unite that which belongs to the Holy One to that which belongs to the Evil One; trying to make holiness (that’s what we are through our union with Jesus) one with evil (that’s the basic nature of the nicest non-Christian).
Whoever is born of God becomes a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Someone commented that those who have been born again are virtually a new species. There is a lot of truth in that thought, and this puts sexual union with a non-Christian almost on the level of bestiality. When 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers,’ Paul had in mind an Old Testament law:
Deuteronomy 22:10 Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.Linking side by side two different species of different height and gait, and making them pull together, would be an act of cruelty. Interestingly, in Old Testament thinking, an ox is a clean animal (able to be used in the service of God) and a donkey is unclean. In the back of Paul’s mind might also have been another Scripture:
Leviticus 19:19 . . . Do not mate different kinds of animals. . . .People who become Christians after they are married have God’s blessing because they did not deliberately enter a spiritually perverse marriage. They were both non-Christians when they married. They can expect spiritual protection from their unchristian partner. (Scriptures) But Christians who sin by marrying non-Christians are in grave danger. By disregarding God’s warning about relationships, they throw away their right to divine protection, unless they thoroughly repent, which involves genuinely regretting that they married. Never imagine you can fool God by deciding beforehand to ‘enjoy’ both sin and God’s forgiveness by ‘repenting’ after your deliberate sin.
基督徒 应不应该 和 非信徒 恋爱？？
基督徒 应不应该 和 非信徒 恋爱？？
信与不信不可同负一轭－－给未婚的弟兄姐妹（转贴）
如果一个信徒结婚只是为了满足自己生理，心理，情感和物质等的需要和好处，和这样的信徒强调和谈论“信与不信不可同负一轭”有什么意义呢？
我们这里所说的轭就单单指着婚姻这件事情吗？婚姻的意义（特别是属灵的意义）是什么？
神对他的子民和儿女的企盼是什么？
神的子民的“轭”就是神给我们的使命－－爱灵魂，传扬福音，使万民作主的门徒，分别为圣，造就信徒建立教会，警醒等候主的再来，等候完全得赎！
试问，作为基督徒的你，可以和不信的人共同完成神的使命尊行神的旨意吗？可以和不信的人一同与神同工吗？
如 果你的婚姻只是为了满足你自己的心意和需要，并没有把婚姻交在主的手中，也没有希望在婚姻中荣耀主的名为主作见证，也没有一颗和你的另一半一同以婚姻和家 庭来侍奉主的心，也没有希望养育敬虔的儿女，那“信与不信不可同负一轭”对你有什么意义呢？神的心意和旨意对你又有何重要呢？你的需要和满足不是比神的心 意和旨意更重要吗？
唐崇荣：
可跟非基督徒结婚吗？
答：你要跟谁结婚是你的自由，但是婚姻是最大的责任，也是最大的幸福也是最大的危机。
圣经说 信与不信不可同负一扼。为这个缘故你应当要谨慎行事。
如 果你说：个性还有喜好，还有很多的事情都很相合，而且我们真正有爱情，难道不可以结婚吗？我告诉你，如果你因为一时个性相合而结婚，你要知道每一个结婚的 人都登广告：我俩情投意合，结果离婚的时候：我俩情不投，意不合。所以你要谨慎。与其以后用眼泪洗脸，不如三思而后行。让上帝和共同的信仰成为你们之间结 合和建立家庭的基础。
“信与不信不能同负一轭”请问此适合于婚姻吗?若与非基督徒相爱该如何?
答：婚姻是一切社交的活动中最亲密、最长久、最严肃、最负责任，也是最危险的一种社交活动，个人与个人在暂时之间的永恒。所以不要随便。也并非凡是信与不 信结婚一定没有好结果，如果一个真正明白圣经原则的基督徒，如果爱对方爱到不能离开的话，又认为你的爱一定是从神而来的话，无论如何应发乎情、止于礼。第 一圈只作朋友，第二圈是知己朋友，第三圈是终身朋友，在未将福音传给对方前，真正感到他在神恩典中有长进，直到领受基督生命之前，最好不要进入嫁娶。这种 严肃、很慎重、实在尊贵生命的爱虽然不容易接受，但是他会从内心生命尊重你。
请问“信与不信不能同负一轭”，用来指信与不信不可以结婚，正不正确？如今教会姐妹多于弟兄，如果这样，是否大多数的姐妹都得预备独身了?
答： 我的教会里有不少弟兄，可能因为我的讲道比较适合男人听。如果讲台只重感性，没有理性的成份．只重福音、属灵的范围而没有文化使命的成份，那么男人就不太 喜欢听。神不但给我们福音使命、属灵的教导，也给我们在社会的责任、对学问的追求、对世局的剖析……等等；所以男女都应当从神的道领受真理的教导。
“信与不信不能同负一轭”这是最严格的要求，应当信的与信的结婚，因为宗教信仰是一切观念中最基本的、最有支配性的观念；宗教观念的错误、不同，会导致其 它许多生活层次的不协调，结果是很危险的。宗教要求的是绝对和信仰，这方面若妥协，就会产生很痛苦的相处生活。“信与不信不能同负一轭”这句话也可放在婚 姻中，但如果有一些人比较软弱，或父母亲逼她非嫁不可，结果她就嫁给一个不信主的人，怎么办呢?神是会给你许多容忍和继续的帮助，但是可能你会经过—段以 泪洗面的日子，你会面临一段心灵痛苦折磨的时间。但是很可能到最后，因为你伟大的忍耐、见证，愿意甘心受苦、为基督持定真理，结果感化你的丈夫有一天归 主。这一天也许是在你生前，但也可能是你死前一秒钟他才接受主也不一定。所以对那些软弱没有办法遵守这一条规矩．就与不信的人结婚的姐妹，我们特别为她祷 告．求主给她能够勇敢作见证。神知道我们是软弱的，但是不要因为我们是软弱的，就永远甘愿作软弱的人。
陈终道：
1.与非基督徒恋爱
问：基督徒可以和非基督徒结婚吗？如果一对青年男女，在已经彼此相爱之后，其中一人信了主，这样，他们难道要因此分开么？林后六章十四节的话，是专指男女结合说的么？
答： 基督徒不应当与不信的人结合，圣经有清楚的吩咐：”你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭。” （林后6：14）。这节经文虽未指明是对男女结合说的，但无疑的它是很合宜用于男女结合方面。因为它所说的”相配”、”同负一轭”、”相交”、”相通”， 已包括夫妇结合的道理在内。旧约中也有好些经文表示神不喜欢他的选民娶外邦女子为妻。如：王上11：7 ～8；拉9：1 ～4，10：1 ～15；尼13：23 ～27。所以依照圣经的教训，基督徒不应当与非基督徒结合是无可置疑的。
恋爱和信仰，似乎没有什么相干，实则大有关系，因 为恋爱的最终日的是结婚，结婚是夫妻共同生活的开端；而共同生活却与共同的信仰有密切的关系。信仰若不相同，必然在生活习惯、兴趣、处事的观点、儿女教养 等事上，各持不同的见解。这些不相同，在恋爱期间，不大觉得它们对彼此间的感情有什么伤害；但在结婚以后，在漫长的夫妇共同生活中，却常常成为破坏家庭幸 福的因素；所以不同信仰的结合，不但不合圣经的教训，在实际生活上也是不完美的。
至于一对已经在相爱中的男女，其中一人信了主，他或她应当下最大的决心，在未结婚之前引领对方归信基督，否则就只有走那需要最大牺牲的路，放弃你所认为可爱的人。
2.基督徒与非基督徒结婚
问：基督徒可以和非基督徒结婚吗？苦有一对恋爱中的青年，其中一人信了主，而另一人不信，这已信主的基督徒应当怎样行呢？
答： 圣经对于基督徒不应与非基督徒结合的吩咐是相当清楚的：”你们和不信的原不相配，不要同负一轭；义和不义的有什么相交呢？光明和黑暗有什么相通呢？基督和 彼列有什么相和呢？信主的和不信主的有什么相交呢？” （林后6：14 ～15）所以基督徒不应当和非基督徒结婚是无可置疑的。并且每一个基督徒在选择配偶之时必须严谨地遵照这原则，干万不要存取巧的心理，才不至在婚姻的事上 得罪了神。
至于已经在相爱中的青年，其中一人信了主，那么在信徒方面只能作两项选择：1. 在未结婚前引领对方信主。2. 忍痛放弃。
基督徒的恋爱
圣经说，人测不透的奇妙之一，是“男与女交合的道”（参箴30:19）。因着神所赐的天性，青年人会被异性吸引；于是，男女由相识发展到相爱，由相爱再走向婚姻。在人的一生中，恋爱是一个重要的阶段，它对人的一生都有很深远的影响。
作 为基督徒，我们在恋爱的问题上应当注意些什么呢？立志蒙神喜悦的青年基督徒应该确知，婚姻是人生中至关重要的大事。当信徒与异性结交朋友的时候，应当在神 面前十分谨慎地祈祷；如果双方的相处关系是蒙神喜悦的，那么他们的一生也必定会蒙神的祝福，并且彼此在对方的生命中产生美好的影响；反之，如果信徒在选择 异性朋友的事上受了撒但的蒙蔽，双方的生命就会受到极大的败坏，并失去神的祝福。
一、结交异性朋友的前提：
与异性朋友结交恋爱关系之前，有几个基本问题必须加以考虑：
1. “这个关系是否为神所许可？”倘若对方不是基督徒，那么作为基督徒的你就无需为此事祈祷，因为圣经上明确地要求基督徒不可与非基督徒结婚：“你们和不信的 原不相配，不要同负一轭”（林后6:14）。有些基督徒自以为，即使与未得救的人结婚，自己仍能站立得稳；实际上这是被自己的私欲蒙蔽了心眼，显出他肉体 的软弱；也许他们暗自思忖，自己可以带领对方信主，其实这种想法是极为不智的，是对生活缺乏认识。神既然明令禁止信徒与非信徒结合，信徒就当顺服；如果信 徒将神的吩咐当作耳旁风，充耳不闻，自己的灵命就必大受亏损，这也显明了他对神的心态。当参孙看见那非利士女人时，他只说：“我喜悦她”（参士 14:3）；实际上，他首先应当问的是：“她是不是主所喜悦的？”如果他这样尊重神的旨意，就不致遭受日后的杀身之祸了。
2. “我真的愿意与这个人结婚吗？”这个问题似乎有些奇怪，但它确是一个应当考虑的问题。当一个人较多注意一位异性时，他（她）很可能并没有对对方产生真正的 感情，最初他们也许只是愿意与对方成为普通的朋友而已，然而当他们在一起的时候，却产生了强烈的冲动，以致于他们错把这种冲动理解为爱情，甚至因此而草率 地以身相许，提出结婚。这里有必要对正在觅偶的信徒提出忠告：“你应当安静地考虑，慎思明辨，也要求问神：你是否果真希望与对方结婚？”
3. “我们是否真的志趣相投？”二人能否同心合意地祈祷？能否在神的话语上彼此有通畅的交通？在跟随主、服事主的事上能否互相帮助？灵性上和理性上相互契合， 对于美满的婚姻是极为重要的。可惜的是，很多人常常把美貌、魅力、金钱、地位等等无关紧要的事当作选择配偶的首要条件，却忽略了更为要紧的问题。
4. “主是否引导我们二人结合？”这一点是最重要的问题。当青年人彼此恋慕时，很难抛开自己的感情客观地慎思明辨。也许你对前面三个问题的答案都是肯定的，但 这仍然并不表示对方就是神为你拣选的配偶。要知道，即使双方都是基督徒，也可能存在许多方面的差异，甚至分歧；唯有向神有同样心志的人才有可能在跟随主、 服事主的道路上互相勉励，同心奔跑。所以，未婚的青年弟兄姊妹们务要在婚姻的问题上得着神的喜悦，这样才能一生受益无穷；神所搭配的婚姻必能使二人在属灵 的道路上成为同心的伴侣。
基督徒在从恋爱到结婚的过程中，订婚是一个有益的环节。未婚信徒必须在清楚知道了这个婚姻是神的旨意以后，方可订婚。订了婚约以后要有一段彼此忠诚的等待 和预备的时间。虽然订婚并不是对的绝对束缚，但它仍然是一个严肃的誓约，不可轻视；人若轻视订婚，就无异于玩弄对方的感情，轻视订婚是基督徒失败的见证。
二、结交异性朋友的原则：
中国古代的婚姻观念是“父母之命，媒妁之言”，而现今普世的婚姻观念都主张恋爱自由；前者存在不切实际、辖制感情的弊病，后者则使人在两性问题上变得不严 肃，以致欺骗、玩弄、草率等道德问题层出不穷。以下两种程序是值得提倡的：①先由父母选择，再征得子女同意（或先由子女选择，再征得父母许可），然后请有 信仰、有好德行、有好见证的属灵长者作媒；②也可请敬畏神的虔诚长者作媒介绍，再经父母和子女双方同意。这样来建立婚姻，既非强制包办，又能摒除上述流 弊，且有较为可靠的属灵长者把握，失误的机会大大减少。
青年基督徒在恋爱时应当遵循下列原则：
1. 不可效法不信之人的思想：在有些不虔不义的人心里，结交异性只是为了追求肉体私欲的满足，使恋爱扭曲成为轻浮而堕落的事；这样的思想和行为对于基督徒来说 是极不相宜的，不但是极其耻辱的，而且是极为危险的（参提后2:22；彼前2:11）。圣经说行这样的事必玩火自焚：“人若怀里搋火，衣服岂能不烧 呢？”（箴6:27）。基督徒要竭力躲避这样的事（参箴4:15）。
圣经要求信徒禁戒各样的恶事（参帖前5:22），换句话说，不要给人留下任何怀疑我们的把柄，更不能给人留下诽谤主的机会。假如男女二人时常出没于无人的场所，或流连在外深夜不归，这类事情都会叫神的仇敌大得控告和攻击的机会（参撒下12:14）。
2. 不要听从世界的建议：现代人常常公开地声称要极力满足感情和私欲的要求；甚至取笑贞洁、清白的生活是守旧，他们容忍各样的不道德行为，把婚前的放荡行为看 作是身体天然的需要。我们向未婚的基督徒们呼吁：不要接受撒但的诱惑和骗术，不要上当，要时常记得，我们的身体是圣灵的殿，我们应当遵守圣经的命令，持守 贞操，圣经说：“要保守自己清洁”（提前5:22；参林前6:19；弗5:3-5；彼前4:2-5）。
3. 不要将不信的人当作你的弟兄：圣经说：“滥交是败坏善行”（林前15:33），又严正地警告信徒说：“凡想要与世俗为友的，就是与神为敌了”（雅 4:4）。倘若信徒与未得救的人过从甚密，就必要受他们的思想和行为的影响，以致渐渐挪移，随流逝去（参创13:12；林后6:17-18）。
更危险的是陷入恶人的手里不能自拔。世界上到处都有堕落的男女，这些恶人喜欢引诱别人过犯罪的生活（参罗1:32），他们用各样的诡计和欺骗的伎俩诱惑青 年人，使他们将自己的身体当作犯罪的工具。圣经的箴言中多处儆诫我们要躲避淫行（参箴 2:16-19;5:3-14,20-21;6:24-28;23:27-28），信徒要度虔敬的生活，要听取圣经的忠言，不可或忽。
实际上，神的话就是基督徒的行动指南；我们若时时思想圣经的教导，以神的话语为念，为座右铭，就能使自己分别为圣，不沾染世界上邪荡和污秽的思想，也能逃 避恶者的一切火箭。得到真正福气的唯一道路就是顺从主；异性信徒在相处中若遵循神的旨意，他们的生命就必充满主所赐的美好福份。圣经说：“他未尝留下一样 好处，不给那些行动正直的人”（诗84:11）。
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Should Christians date Non-christians? (quoted from Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat)
Dating non-Christians
Should Christians date non Christians…?
© 2005 - Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat
“do NOT be yoked with unbelievers”
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“He’s the nicest guy I’ve met in ages. It’s not as if I ever meet anyone - and who knows, he might become a Christian” |
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This page talks about the question of should Christians go out with or date a non-Christian - the age old problem of having a Christian girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn’t believe. Is dating non-believers an option for Christians? Shouldn’t we be equally yoked with someone who believes that Christ? Well here’s a few thoughts and what the Bible has to say about this subject.
There is of course nothing inherently wrong with dating a non-Christian. There are many stories of Christians going out with non-Christians who subsequently give their life to God and the two go on to get married. But there are also stories to the contrary of great heartache and eventual splitting of partners either before or after marriage.
With the added pressure of other people drifting in and out of casual relationships, everyone else is having all the fun and you end up wondering why you don’t try it yourself! To make things trickier still, some non-Christians have higher morals, and are more faithful and understanding than their fellow Christians.
a real dilemma!
It’s a dilemma, - and it does seem unfair of God to restrict us to the few that are Christian in the real sense. Trying to find someone with whom you click, who you find attractive and who you know loves the Lord - can be so difficult that staying Gods side of the fence can seem like too much to ask! - Should I ask that non- Christian guy out at work? Should I be less fussy? Should I go church hopping? Should I join an agency? In the end it distracts from the real meaning of Christian life. Not to mention hours wasted barking up the wrong trees!
Should we consider dating a non-Christian partner outside the church when one inside seems so elusive - what does the Bible say?
1) The bible says guard your heart above all.
2) We can see with Jesus as our model that as Christians we are limited in the things we can do. We have to sacrifice many things that the rest of the world does not, and one of those things is the vast choice of people with whom we can have a husband/wife relationship.
3) The bible clearly states that marrying a nonbeliever is to be avoided. (do not be yoked with unbelievers or non Christians) However If you find this dogmatic, consider the sensitive way it addresses people who are already in a relationship with a nonbeliever. Far from consign them both to hell it offers constructive advice and says that the Christians’ faith actually sanctifies the nonbeliever in the relationship. -Not to be taken to mean that dating a non-Christian is a good idea.
4) Be careful who you get together with as bad company corrupts good character. Can a non Christian partner help you spiritually?
5) The Bible tells us that few will enter the kingdom of heaven which is important because it follows that the number of potential partners available to us will be equally few. It is to be expected that meeting compatible people is difficult.
-As ever the Bible offers practical advice to real problems!
Other things to consider . . .
A mature Christian woman dating a spiritually immature man:
This may or may not worry you but consider the fact that the bible says the man should be the spiritual leader in a relationship. Spiritual maturity does not come overnight unlikely that a new Christian man could lead a mature Christian woman.
uneven playing field
When you go out with a non-Christian you may have find you have opposite views on certain issues that your partner may not consider issues at all! For instance commitment to them may not be commitment to you. This will give them an unfair advantage in a relationship as they can break certain rules that you can’t - and you may feel pressured to break them to hold their interest. This really happens! It’s much better when both parties have the same rulebook. With an issue like no sex before marriage it’ll take 2 to say ‘no’. When one is indifferent, temptation will be hard to resist!
from a practical point of view . . .
Is the person you’re dating someone you’d like to marry? Being able to talk about your deepest emotions, hopes and fears in the light of God is something most Christians would want from a life long partner. Can you have this kind of relationship with an unbeliever? Most Christians agree that in the end something is missing. It can be like talking to someone who “isn’t home” for want of a less arrogant sounding description. Consider what you want.
It is true that many non-Christians have good relationships (though they could never be as fulfilling as a right relationship in which both partners included God) With one believer and one nonbeliever. The scales are uneven and liable to tip.
Having established that it’s praobably best not to seriously date a non-Christian (though this may not always be the case), how can we improve our chances of meeting someone?
You can visit different churches but this is a very inefficient way to meet someone. You’re going to have to go for a couple of weeks before you get to know anyone and even then you may not end up in a position to approach the person you like. It also takes your mind off church itself. Church hopping is not a sin but it’s not a good way to find a partner.
You can introduce people whom you know have an interest in each other. If everyone did this you could guarantee the favour would be returned!
You could try traditional Christian dating agencies which is a great idea. They even send you out in groups which is a lot of fun. Or you could usefusion101.com. This is a Christian dating agency that allows you to contact people with whom you have something in common. No time wasted and great fun! Go to 101 FREE Christian Dating & Personals service
to summarise
1) Does the person you’re interested in have the spiritual spiritual maturity you need? (esp important for women)
2) In a relationship with a non-Christian you may be tempted to compromise your beliefs in order to stay appealing.
3) Falling in love is easy. In a romantic relationship it may be difficult to escape a relationship with an unbeliever if it turns out to be wrong.
4) Consider carefully whether short term gain is worth giving yourself to what could be the wrong person.
5) While there can be nothing wrong with dating a non-Christian, you never know when a casual date will turn into a lifelong love.
6) If you don’t want to end up marrying a non-Christian, don’t date one!
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Q) Should I *Date a Non-Christian?
This is an honest question of many who desire companionship in this life. I like one evangelist’s response to that: “I would not even date a lukewarm Christian.”
God’s wisdom and protection for your life would be to not to date or seek courtship with an unbeliever. It is obviously a great temptation for many, yet God’s Word is clear:
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
God does not want to steal your fun, but to protect you from future harm. I have seen many well-meaning believers justify their dating/courtship habits.
Excuses some have used for dating non-Christians:
1. “I am not attracted to anyone in my church and there are few singles my age.”
I don’t believe God will make you marry someone you are not attracted to, but it simply comes down to trust. If we are “about our Father’s business”, and our hearts are set on doing His will, we will be content while waiting. Do you trust God for your future spouse? Is God big enough to bring someone into your life when and how He wants to? I have seen many singles attend a church for the sole purpose of fining a mate, as if they were shopping at a meat market. If they didn’t find the cut of beef they wanted, they went shopping elsewhere.
2. “I will lead them to the Lord.”
That is what some call “missionary dating”. Sometimes people lead others to the Lord in a dating situation, but more often than not it is the Christian in this situation who compromises what they know to be God’s will and they are lead further away from the things of God. King Solomon married many foreign wives who served foreign gods. His heart was turned away from God as a result:
1 Kings 11:7-10 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, on the hill that is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the abomination of the people of Ammon. And he did likewise for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods. So the Lord became angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned from the Lord God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not keep what the Lord had commanded.
I have known of some who finally saw their spouse come to Jesus only after enduring years of heartache and brokenness. This unnecessary pain was caused by disobedience, not God’s leading.
3. “I will not marry them, only date them.”
Any dating relationship can cause you to open yourself up to emotional attachment. It is self-deception to think dating cannot or will not lead to marriage. One should not “date” unless even considering marriage. It is not fair to the other person, to yourself, or to your future spouse. It is selfish to think otherwise. It is tough enough in this life being married to a Christian who is desires the things of God. I could not imagine trying to go through life with someone who is not following Jesus.
4. “This person seems to have it together.”
Satan doesn’t usually tempt us with people who don’t seem to have it together. The grass is greener on the other side, but when you get there you find out it is green-colored cardboard! Marriage is only part of God’s plan, albeit a very important part, marriage itself should not be our goal. Seek His will and have long-term goals for your life instead of short-term satisfaction. You will be happier if you do things God’s way in God’s time.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (AMP) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?
*I use the term dating only because it is a common term. A proper godly approach to companionship should be courting. Dating is the world’s way to satisfy what God intended for preparation for marriage.
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Equally Yoked Dating
by JJ
Should a Christian date a non-Christian? This question is considered by most, if not all, single Christians at some point. The term “equally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14:
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?“ (NASB)
The concept goes all the way back to Deuteronomy 22:10:
“You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together.” (NASB)
Two different animals shouldn’t be yoked together on the plow. In Judaism, the ox was considered clean, whereas the donkey was considered unclean. Not only that, but these animals have different natures and different strengths and abilities1. If you put them together, the plow will probably go in a circle instead of straight, because they are not equally matched. The passage in 2 Corinthians 6 is not a marriage passage. Paul is writing to the Corinthian Christians and exhorting them to not be bound together with non-Christians. This includes marriage, but it also includes business and other relationships as well. He is not saying we should have nothing to do with non-believers; he is saying we should not be “bound” to them in ways that can affect our walk with the Lord adversely.
Do you get the point? A Christian and a non-Christian have different natures, and they are not equally matched spiritually. After our relationship with the Lord, marriage is the most significant relationship in our lives, and God doesn’t want us in that relationship with a non-Christian.
What about Missionary Dating?
Missionary dating is a Christian dating a non-Christian for the purpose of evangelism; at least that’s what they claim. I believe most people who do this have the wrong motivation. Instead of doing to to glorify God and lead the person to Christ, they do it because they are attracted to the person and they figure if they can lead him or her to Christ then it will be okay to date and, possibly, marry this person. They’re probably feeling desperate and/or impatient, and they don’t want to limit their options by restricting the pool of available partners to Christians only. For every person you can show me who did this successfully, I can show you ten people who are married to non-believers and are miserable. It’s a really bad idea and it’s wrong. You should never date someone unless you believe there might be the potential for marriage, and since God has commanded us NOT to marry non-Christians, then you should not date them either. Even if the person did get saved, now you have a “baby Christian” who will not be as spiritually mature as you. You’re still unequally yoked to some extent, and that does not lead to a fulfilling relationship.
Early in my walk with the Lord, I found myself in this very situation. I was attracted to a girl I worked with, and we went out a couple of times. I thought “She’d be great if she’d come to know the Lord.” The funny thing was, she ended it because it was obvious to her that we were not compatible. She was used to hanging around with people who drank, smoked and said crude things, and I was very different than that so it made her uncomfortable. She actually cried as she told me this. She apparently didn’t know how to respond to someone who treated her with respect and kindness.
Brothers and sisters, don’t compromise. Be patient (please read my article Patience) and wait for God’s best. Don’t give in to the temptation to date a non-Christian and then think you can lead them to the Lord. Are you going to disciple them and help them mature and catch up with you spiritually as well? I don’t think so.
“The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”
– John 1:5 (NASB)
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Dating a Non-Christian
In contrast to staying in love, falling in love tends to be something outside our control. Devoted Christians can therefore find themselves in love with non-Christians. Some, unaware that Scripture addresses this matter, have even deliberately exposed themselves to this in the hope of winning someone to the Lord. If ever the saying ‘The path to hell is paved with good intentions’ were true, it applies to this tragedy.
‘Do not be misled,’ says Scripture, ‘bad company corrupts good character.’ (Related Scriptures) No matter how strong you are, choose the wrong friend, and you’ll be corrupted. Not everyone believes that. That’s why Scripture prefaces this warning with the words, Do not be misled, or, as some versions put it, ‘deceived’. A careful look at the context reveals that ‘bad company’ is not necessarily people we would normally think of as being ‘bad,’ but people whose belief about Jesus is faulty, even though they might claim to be Christian and live moral lives.
A prime example is Solomon. Not even all his wisdom could keep him from ruining his life because he chose to befriend women who, though religious, believed the wrong things about God. (Scriptures)
Since the Bible insists you have little chance if you chose ungodly people as close friends, you must choose between God and wrong friendships. You will not have both for long. When choosing close friends, especially where there is a chance of romantic involvement, remember this simple fact: a person either belongs to God or to the devil. There is no middle ground.
To have sex with a non-Christian is to defile Christ. Scripture is emphatic that sex makes two people one. A born-again Christian is spiritually united to Christ and a non-Christian is spiritually united to the devil. To marry a non-Christian is therefore to try to make Christ one with the devil. (Scriptures)
A spiritually mixed marriage is a hideous perversion. It is the profanity of trying to unite that which must never be united – trying to unite that which belongs to the Holy One to that which belongs to the Evil One; trying to make holiness (that’s what we are through our union with Jesus) one with evil (that’s the basic nature of the nicest non-Christian).
Whoever is born of God becomes a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Someone commented that those who have been born again are virtually a new species. There is a lot of truth in that thought, and this puts sexual union with a non-Christian almost on the level of bestiality. When 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers,’ Paul had in mind an Old Testament law:
Deuteronomy 22:10 Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.Linking side by side two different species of different height and gait, and making them pull together, would be an act of cruelty. Interestingly, in Old Testament thinking, an ox is a clean animal (able to be used in the service of God) and a donkey is unclean. In the back of Paul’s mind might also have been another Scripture:
Leviticus 19:19 . . . Do not mate different kinds of animals. . . .People who become Christians after they are married have God’s blessing because they did not deliberately enter a spiritually perverse marriage. They were both non-Christians when they married. They can expect spiritual protection from their unchristian partner. (Scriptures) But Christians who sin by marrying non-Christians are in grave danger. By disregarding God’s warning about relationships, they throw away their right to divine protection, unless they thoroughly repent, which involves genuinely regretting that they married. Never imagine you can fool God by deciding beforehand to ‘enjoy’ both sin and God’s forgiveness by ‘repenting’ after your deliberate sin.